In 2022 I had an energy healing done. I was told that I had sorrow stored all over my body and that it needed to be released from my body in order to heal. After having some time to process this I conceptualized how I was going to release it and created a digital art piece I entitled “Sorrow,” but I felt like this journey wasn’t quite finished. 

A mentor I once had said that she never says that she is sorry. I thought this was strange, and I could not wrap my mind around it. How can you apologize without saying you are sorry?
Then one day, I saw a friend post on Facebook that talked about a “saying you are sorry unnecessarily jar” that saying sorry was an affirmation. And it clicked. All of these moments came together and I saw the connection. Saying sorry is an affirmation and not one we should be affirming to ourselves. How many other unconscious statements are we making that affect us? Our bodies and minds are always listening. What are we imprinting on ourselves?

 

Words matter. Words are powerful. They cast spells on our lives that echo out into the universe and can affect everything we do. Knowing this, we can transform our lives. It’s always the smallest things that have the biggest impact. 

 

Affirmations are statements used to affirm something. To affirm something is to state it as a fact, to assert it strongly or publicly. A mantra is a statement or slogan repeated frequently. Usually, affirmations and mantras are thought of as positive thinking. But without more conscious awareness of our words, what about the ones that are on autopilot, like saying sorry? I have used affirmations and mantras for a very long time, as I have grown and learned more, and have spiraled back to the same things with deeper understanding, my perspective has changed and shifted several times. I am becoming more aware of all my words, both spoken and in my mind's eye. 

 

What are you affirming to the world? What do you tell yourself over and over again when you aren’t fully focused on the positive? “I am” are two of the most powerful words in our toolkits. I do my best to never say “I’m sorry” anymore, I slip up sometimes and it can be quite the challenge to find words to replace and convey what I am trying to say. Although awkward, it usually leads to more connection with others, with my feelings, and with myself. Are your affirmations helping or hurting you?

 

Examples

These have been some of the most life-altering affirmations that I have used in my life:

 

Instead of:	Replace with:
“I can’t afford XYZ. I am broke. I don’t have enough money.”	“I allow money into and out of my life with ease. I attract abundance. I am financially free.”
“I am unlucky. Nothing ever works out for me.” Or I am thinking about the things that I want and don’t have.	“I am lucky, and everything always works out in my favor. I am my own lucky charm.” (For a fun story about this one, see below)
“I am always a day late and a dollar short.”	“I am always ready for opportunities. I have more than enough money. Abundance flows freely to me.”
“Money doesn’t grow on trees.”	“There is more than enough, and any money I touch will come back to be in abundance times 10.”

 

Saying sorry unnecessarily is a bit different than these other negative thought examples. With this one, you can replace it with “I apologize” in moments that need an apology. In other moments, for example, when you are trying to empathize or sympathize with someone, you can replace it with I empathize or sympathize, ask questions, get curious, ask how you can support the person, and open a dialog instead of just saying that you are sorry, which not only affirms this but also shuts down the conversation and connection. If you are saying sorry when you feel like you are in the way, instead, say excuse me. This can be a fun challenge to try to figure out. (see the online blog for more examples).

 

At the beginning of 2023, my husband and I celebrated our tenth anniversary in the Bahamas with some close family and friends. I researched the island we were staying on, and I found out that there were possible shark sightings and excursions. There was only one other person in our group of 15 who wanted to go, and with our tight schedule and rental car situation, we just couldn’t make a shark cage dive work. I was pretty bummed, and my shark thoughts consumed me. Toward the end of our trip, we took a boat tour that took us on several excursions. At lunch, I decided to try to extract some shark information from our tour guide. He said he saw them occasionally but not typically on this tour and that they hadn’t even seen dolphins in three weeks, but he would be sure to keep an eye out for anything and stop if he saw something. A bit bummed, I tried to let it go, but I kept thinking about wanting to see a shark so badly. We pushed on in the tour. I remembered my mantra! “I AM LUCKY AND EVERYTHING ALWAYS WORKS OUT FOR ME.” I repeated this to myself, let it go, and relaxed into it. I enjoyed the scenery around me.

The next thing I knew the captain was turning the boat around with quickness. He was pointing just to the left of us, and to my excited surprise there were three dolphins. We watched them for some time. We continued on the tour, and now I was feeling really charged, I continued my mantra. We went to the next excursion, spent our time there, then pressed on. Again, the boat stopped and turned, and he pointed, and yells “SHARK” and there it was… a 12-foot hammerhead shark! I about peed myself I was so excited. The captain said they rarely see sharks in that area, and in the twelve years they had been touring that specific spot he had never seen a hammerhead! I was elated. It's hard not to think this was kismet, that this was meant to be, just for me, I manifested that. I really am lucky, and I believe this more and more every day.

 

 

When & How

On my journey I have learned when and how to best use affirmations and mantras. It is best to use them directly after catching a negative thought or statement. I like to use the rephasing statement at least three times after the negative one. The next best time to use them is during your autopilot moments when you are showering, driving, brushing your teeth, and daydreaming. After waking up and before going to sleep are also powerful times to repeat mantras and affirmations. Once you have stated it as a fact to yourself or out loud, then it’s time to trust the process, relax into it, let go, and trust. The last step to this is gratitude. Expressing gratitude for things you already have, things you will have, for your lessons, and everything in between. End with gratitude. 

You have the power to change your life. Bringing awareness to your thoughts and words can be a fun experiment on this. I believe in you. You are powerful. 

 

 

 

"Sorrow" | Digital art done by Shaelynn Brackett
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