“Your thoughts are powerful! It is possible to create a happier, more confident self and bring what you desire into your life!”

If you’re like anyone else who has picked up a self-help book, you’ve read similar statements - so have I. For years I heard this, and as much as I wanted to follow through on this advice, I never took that time to invest in myself. But at the start of 2018, I became very ill for close to 4 months. 

I had been diagnosed with Clostridium difficile colitis after taking an antibiotic. I was put on a stronger antibiotic once diagnosed, but even after being cleared from the C-diff I was still experiencing stomach problems. I was put on many different medications and put through many tests to find a diagnosis, and they all came back clean. I became depressed, anxious, and struggled with an obsessive-compulsive order, becoming obsessed with germs and re-infection. Not knowing what was wrong or when I would be better was torturous. I had no idea how long this illness could last, and my quality of life was awful.

After so many negative tests, my doctor talked about the possibility of it being psychosomatic. This only increased my anxiety. I couldn’t fathom how my mind could be causing this, or why I would do this to myself. Therapy was suggested about a month and a half into the illness. I went to a Hypnotherapist my mom recommended.

I was familiar with therapy as I had gone years before, but this therapy was different. At each session, I was taught new coping skills, things like how to breathe diaphragmatically and how to stimulate the Vagus nerve to calm down. This was very important since I found myself having anxiety attacks and breakdowns at least once a day. At the end of each session, I was given homework. The first session I was given 2 CD’s to listen to on alternating nights. I did this for two months.

My second appointment I was asked about my fears and desires, and we created personalized affirmations. I would say these affirmations four times out loud - in the morning, afternoon, and evening. I was also writing them. This was done repetitively.

I was fully invested, and once I began doing the work I could feel positive energy around me. I started researching the power of positive thoughts and self-thought, and how they impact the brain. I was learning new things about myself and began feeling less anxious and depressed. I started to feel slight improvements. One powerful affirmation for my situation was: “All of my cells know what to do to heal. Every single one of my cells is filled with wellness, health, and vitality. I am the picture of positive energy and wellbeing. I am healed, healthy, and whole.” I also added visualizations, imagining watching my cells fill with everything they needed.

By doing this, I was affirming that my body was strong and that I was improving, even if only a small amount each day. I was my own cheerleader. These Affirmations were helping me re-wire my brain to think positively. After some time, I was finally in a better place psychologically - though I was still physically sick. It took a bit more time to discover my illness was due to black mold in my apartment. With that knowledge, I moved and never looked back. It still took time to heal, but within a month I was no longer stuck in bed with nausea and shaking. Armed with a more positive attitude and making the physical changes I needed for my health, I was on my way to a more positive existence.

Today I still use my affirmations. I change them up a bit for what I need in my life at various times, discovering new ways to grow. I make it a point to say them at least once every day, holding on to the positive energy it fills me with. I wonder where I would be without that work; I am happier and more confident than I’ve ever been. I took control of my thoughts, emotions, and behavior and it has only made me better. You can too!