I see toxic positivity often, especially within spiritual communities, workplaces, and family dynamics. “Just be Positive,” “Good Vibes Only,” and “Think Positive.” While good-intentioned, it can be a form of gaslighting to others and ourselves. Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where self-doubt and confusion are used to distort reality. When we self-gaslight, we deny our own experience, which can cause self-distrust and self-blame. Always being positive or only having a positive mindset can be quite invalidating. Part of healing and growth is facing our shadows and acknowledging reality so we can heal and move on. When there is pressure only to have and show positive emotions, we suppress anything perceived as negative. This can lead to more stress, isolation, unhealthy coping mechanisms, feeling ashamed, and disconnection. Positive affirmations and mindsets have their place, but a balance can be found. Acknowledging and validating our reality is vital to the healing process. Once things are brought to light, they lose their power; we then can gain knowledge about the issue and start the steps toward healing.
Examples:
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Well-Intended Statements |
What to Say Instead: |
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“Someone always has it worse.” |
“I can understand why you would be upset about that.” |
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“This should be easy.” |
“It’s okay to have an off day.” |
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“It is what it is.” |
“This is a frustrating situation.” |
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“We never get more than we can handle.” |
“How can I best support you?” |
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“Don’t worry, be happy.” |
“Your emotions are valid, and it’s okay to feel them.” |
About the Author:
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Shae Brackett Our Customer Service Director and Social Media Manager has been with RidgeCrest since 2016. Shae is the mastermind behind our exceptional customer experience, ensuring every call, email, and customer experience is handled with love and care. She guides the customer care team, is our culture caretaker, helping to facilitate our employee experience, and our online creative oracle for our Facebook, Instagram, our blog, and meditations. She describes herself as creative, thoughtful, nature-loving, compassionate, and nurturing. Her favorite herbs are Ginger and Lavender, and she proudly recommends SereniZen® (formerly Anxiety Free), PhysiQOL™, SinusClear®, and Belly Be Happy®. Learn more about our team here. |
Check out these other health & wellness blogs:
- The Power of Positive Self Talk
- Manifesting
- Creating an Abundance Mindset
- The Law of Attraction
- An Introduction to Chakras
