Have you ever wondered how your words can impact people with disabilities? Language is a powerful tool that can either empower or marginalize, uplift, or demean differences among individuals with disabilities. Understanding and practicing correct disability language and etiquette is essential to fostering an inclusive and respectful society. Below are some tips on current disability language and etiquette from a disabled person, me!
Ask before you help.
Just because someone has physical limitations or mental limitations doesn’t automatically mean that they need help. As a wheelchair user myself, I very much appreciate people opening doors for me, but there are some times when I want to open the door myself so I can be independent and problem-solve. Helping people is very kind, but don’t assume someone needs help; ask first!
Speak directly to the person with a disability.
People who have mental and physical disabilities are still capable of conversation. When I am out with my mother, people automatically talk to my mom instead of me, even if the conversation concerns me. It can be very upsetting for the disabled community when people assume they are incapable of everyday communication. Disabled individuals are humans, too!
Avoid making assumptions.
Don't automatically assume the limitations of someone's disability. Disability is very fluid! When in my wheelchair, I have experienced people talking to me very slowly, as if I have a mental disability - an assumption based on the wheelchair. People have also assumed that I am faking my disability since I can move my legs! Disability stereotypes and beliefs can be very damaging and harmful. It’s always best to ask first and also ask questions so you can get a better understanding! Keep in mind that some people may feel more comfortable discussing their disabilities than others, so if someone doesn't want to talk about their disability, don't push or force them.
Use respectful language based on individual preference.
Person-first language is often used to reduce the dehumanization of disability. Instead of saying “handicapped” or “wheelchair bound,” some people may prefer you say “person with a disability” or “wheelchair user.” However, person-first language is hotly debated within the disabled community. It's always best to ask what terminology the individual prefers.
Remember, some disabilities are invisible.
This also goes back to avoiding making assumptions. Just because you can’t see someone's disability doesn't mean it's not there. There is no such thing as “looking disabled.” Mental and physical disabilities are different from person to person. Disability is not one-dimensional; it is multi-dimensional on a large spectrum. It’s a widespread experience for people with invisible disabilities who require accessible parking spots to be accosted and harangued because they don’t “look” disabled. And remember that people with intellectual disabilities may process information and communicate differently, so be patient and understanding when interacting.
Be respectful.
At the end of the day, respect is universal. Everyone just wants to be talked with and treated respectfully. People with disabilities are individuals with families, jobs, hobbies, likes and dislikes, and problems and joys. They are not brave or heroes just for living life! While disability is part of their identity, it does not define who they are.
Most importantly, do NOT use any type of slurs or offensive language.
Disability is something that can be very difficult to deal with. As someone who was born with a congenital disability, my disability has been part of me throughout my entire life. It's refreshing when someone communicates to me in a way that makes me feel that my disability is not my identity; it's just a part of me. I hope you'll utilize these tips to ensure you always have appropriate communication and manners when interacting with the disabled community!
