Shadow Work

According to Carl Jung, a Swiss psychologist and psychoanalyst, the shadow is the hidden part of the human psyche. In his model of the psyche is the persona, the part where we show the outer world or the mask that hides all our perceived flaws or imperfections. The shadow is the other side of this. This side has been repressed, hidden, and even rejected. This hidden part of us expresses itself in our personality and how we interact with the world and people around us. It is the unresolved conflicts and issues, our unlived dreams, desires, passions, our denied wishes and needs. At its core, our shadow self is our wounded self. It’s all of our unhealed wounds we never processed. This part of ourselves started developing in childhood and grew as we got older. 

Shadow work is a deep-dive exploration and integration of this unconscious aspect, the shadow side. It's the acknowledgment of our demons, our skeletons in the closet, our dust swept under the rug, the dark side of our moon. We all have one; we may not be aware of it yet, but we carry it around, and it’s there waiting to be acknowledged and brought to the light. 

In Jungian psychology, shadow work typically involves the assistance of a psychoanalyst who guides a person through shadow work. While it can be beneficial to work with a trained practitioner, it may be difficult to find a specialist as the practice is fairly uncommon. However, with some research, dedication, and time, you can guide yourself through this. Remember to go slow; be mindful that shadow work can be difficult or upsetting as it takes a deep dive into wounds. Be sure to practice self-care, compassion, and patience when complex thoughts and feelings arise. Approach the shadow self with curiosity, love, and acceptance. Seek help if you need it; cognitive behavioral therapy is a great tool. 

Steps to Get Started: 

• Observe. Bring your shadow to awareness. Explore it, be curious and aware. Check-in with yourself, ask where this is coming from, why you feel this way, and ask until you find the issue's roots. Sometimes, this takes looking at things from an outside perspective instead of an internal one. Keep an open mind through this process. 
• Accept and love your shadow. Realize this is part of who you are, not something that needs to be shamed or hated. Validate yourself!
• Revisit if the wound is deep; you may need to come back to it a few times. 
• Feel it, heal it, and let go.

Important Questions to Ask and Answer During Prompts:

• What am I feeling?
• Where am I feeling it?
• Why am I feeling this way? Keep asking why until something comes up.
• What belief or story is attached to this emotion?
• Does this feeling remind me of something from my childhood?

Example Prompt Questions to Start:

• When and how do I judge others? What do I dislike in others?
• When and how do I judge myself?
• What are the things I envy in others?
• What parts of me am I ashamed of?
• What emotions typically bring out the worst in me? 
• What do I lie to myself and others about? 
• When was the last time I self-sabotaged? What do I think triggered this behavior? 
• When and how do I judge others? What do I dislike in others?
• When and how do I judge myself?
• What parts of me am I ashamed of?
• What emotions typically bring out the worst in me? 
• What do I lie to myself and others about? 
• When was the last time I self-sabotaged? What do I think triggered this behavior? 
• What do I find annoying in other people?
• What are things that I judge others for on social media?
• Who do I put on a pedestal or idolize, and why?
• What parts of myself do I find difficult to accept?
• What recurring partners or behaviors in my life would I like to change?
• What insecurities hold me back in life? 
• What expectations from society or family do I feel pressure from? How do they impact my sense of self? How do they influence my life?
• What limiting beliefs do I have about myself? 
• Where do I make the most excuses? 
• What part of myself do I hide the most to avoid rejection? 
• What do I resist in my life? 
• What strengths, skills, or gifts do I undervalue in myself? 
• What unresolved conflicts or relationships do I carry within myself? 
• What do I fear others knowing about me? 
• Where do I feel the most shame? 
• What negative self-images and thoughts do I have about myself? 
• What do I complain the most about? 
• What and for whom do I feel resentment?
• What don’t I like about myself?
• How do you think people see you?
• How do you feel when there is drama in your life? 
• What makes you self-conscious? 
• Who do you have grudges against? Why do you think you are holding onto this? 
• Who lets you down the most in life? 
• Where do I feel the most undervalued?
• What is a trait in others that you wish you had? Why do you think you don’t have it? 
• What moments in your life have been the hardest on you? Do you notice any pattern? 
• How do you define failure? 
• How do you feel when you fail or are failing? 
• How do you define success? 
• How do you feel when you succeed? 
• What do you do with your time when you are bored? 
• How do you feel when you are bored? 
• What negative emotions do you avoid? 

Give yourself time and space for your feelings and thoughts to be heard. Journal anything that comes up. Meditate with these thoughts, feelings, and memories. Start an internal dialogue to help change the story and be aware of what comes up. Find questions designed to encourage deep self-inquiry, curiosity, and introspection and invite you to explore the hidden parts of yourself. Approach this work with curiosity, compassion, courage, gentleness, and patience. 

Exploring your shadow side can lead to being more authentic, having more self-esteem, self-acceptance, creativity, energy, awakening, feeling whole, strengthened relationships, healthy coping mechanisms, better boundary setting/keeping, and stopping negative self-talk, plus more. There are many ways to do shadow work; everyone is affected differently.